Day 16: Someone or something you definitely could live without.

I think there are a lot of things people can live without...  There are things out there that change people lives and it is sad!.  For example Drugs, alcohol, and smoking (lung cancer).  I know people that do this stuff and it makes me sad.  These things are so addicting (like purses for me) and hard to overcome.  I pray that none of my kids ever get into this stuff!  But you can be the "best" parent in the world and have a child that does.

Day 15: Something or someone you couldn’t live without, because you’ve tried living without

CHOCOLATE!


FAMILY


FRIENDS

Christmas

**WARNING**
No I don't want sympathy or anything I just need to vent so if you don't want to hear it then don't read it. 

I really HATE the holidays... I know how dare me?  But I do.  I love the spirit of Christmas and the meaning but the last few years have been really tough for our family and it seems to be getting worse.  I usually do the day after Thanksgiving sales (I love the high you get) but this year I won't be... I absolutely have NO money and won't be getting any to spare anytime soon. Our checking was over 300 Negative!  I have applied to tons of places but no calls.  My tupperware stuff is a huge bust right now.  Doesn't anyone like Tupperware anymore or is it just me?  I go to LOTS of parties for people but when I do one no one comes.  My start up party was good though and that is probably the only one... Thanks to those that did come!

I have had a really rough couple of months myself.  I lost a "friend" that I realized wasn't a friend, I had a nephew fall out of a window, my Brother in Law broke his back, My sister was in the hospital for 10 1/2 weeks from falling down her stairs and almost died 3 times, my cousin was in a head on collision that took the life of the other driver and crushed my cousins legs, and now my last living grandparent died on Monday.  It was her 84th birthday too.  I am physically and EMOTIONALLY exhausted!  I seriously don't know how I am going to make it.  The only thing that keeps me going is my kids, that's it.  I'm sure if I didn't have them I would be gone long ago....  Now it's Christmas and the money situation is just driving my anxiety level through the roof... Thankfully I am on something for it.

I pray everyday that something good will happen to us but it hasn't yet... I know God doesn't always give us what we want.  I don't want much I just want to be able to pay my bills without worrying about loosing our house cause there will be no where for us to go, and I would like to buy a pkg of socks cause my kids' have holes in them or be able to get gas cause we are out.  I could go on and on right now.

Then I see things that I am not going to get in too but there are people in similar situations, or other situations that I know about and I see them buying this and that and buying Christmas card, going out to eat etc. and here I am in the kinda same situation and my husband and I haven't been out on a "date" for a long time, grocery store is date night for us, we can't buy christmas and can't buy anything.

I don't need any negative comments.... I warned about it, so if you have something negative to say PLEASE don't.  Like I said I can't take anymore.

For those that are reading this.... I am sorry!  I had to vent and I really don't have anyone to talk to so I write it down.

Heavenly Father please help me make it another day!  P.S. We could use something really awesome in our life right now.

Day 14: A hero that has let you down. (letter)

Well if I had a hero that let me down they wouldn't be a hero then right?

Day 13: A band or artist that has gotten you through some tough ass days. (write a letter.)

Ummmm.... I really don't listen to much music so I don't even know what to say.....

Dear_____,
Thanks for making my day
Sincerely yours,
Stacey

HAHA!

Day 12: Something you never get compliments on

The one thing I don't get compliments on is my TOES!  But really who does?  Most people think toes are ugly or gross.  Well I happen to think that my toes are cute!  You heard me right.  I have "webbed" toes, my 2 toes next to my big one are webbed together a little more than halfway up. 

 I remember when I was little I went to the Dr. to see if I needed to do surgery on them in case it would be problems as I grew.  I remember the Dr saying that the only reason why they would need too was for cosmetic reasons, that it wouldn't cause me any problems as I grew so the choice was up to me.  I was little and I was so scared to have surgery cause I thought everyone that had surgery died.  So I told them that I didn't want to have it done. 

I actually am very glad that I didn't.  I really like them, I know weird.  It is a part of me and I don't want to change who I am. 

Now other peoples feet are UGLY to me!  So don't get me wrong they are gross, Except for my feet. They are pretty Awesome!

If your lucky I will post a picture of what I mean...  I actually am pretty sure that after I make them all Pretty (nail polish) I will take a picture.

  LUCKY YOU!!!

Picture of ME!

I was told once that I didn't look good in hats.... I think I look good!

Day 11: Something people seem to compliment you the most on.

The thing I get compliments the most on right now is my hair. I have always wanted a "new" look so I finally got enough courage to dye my hair and cut it. My sister, Teresa, dyed my hair for me. I went for the copper brown look which has a little red in it. I LOVE IT! What was I waiting for? Then my other sister Andrea has a friend, also named Andrea, that does hair. I have been looking for someone that is really good, and I have found her. She works at Images Salon in Pleasant Grove. I told her that I wanted my hair shorter and cute. She did exactly that. I am so Happy with my hair still and it has been almost a month. I will definately go to her again. When you can tell someone to "go for it" and they do and do an amazing job then you need to stick with them. I hope she never stops! Thank You Andrea for the Amazing Hair Cut!!!!!

This isn't the best picture.  But it is what I got myself.  Oh and I am NOT very Photogenic :(

Day 10: Someone you need to let go, or wish you didn’t know.

Ha Ha... All the stuff is pretty much for the same person.... Need I say more?

NOPE!

Day 9: Someone you didn’t want to let go, but just drifted

I had a really good friend when I was little when we lived in Orem.  We moved and it got harder to get together with her.  Then by Jr High it we had new friends and "forgot" about each other.  I kinda wished we never moved but like people say friends come and go.  I have talked to her a few times but it has been a while since I saw her.  When I was pregnant with Samantha and was having really bad pains I went to the hospital and she was going to be my nurse.  I felt really uncomfortable since I grew up with her so I asked for a new nurse.  I ended up getting sent home but now that I look back I think.  What was the big deal she is a nurse.  Oh well!  I still miss her though :(

Day 8: Someone who made your life hell, or treated you like shit.

First of all I want to apologize for the post title... This is a experiment thing I got off of someone else's blog and I am just copying the titles.

Wow... is all I can think of this title, what to say what to say...  There has been people that has done this to me but I am NOT going to name names.  I will say that it was a so called friend.  They said some pretty nasty things to me, then not only that, they got my sister into it.  Who does that?  Seriously!  I have never really had good experiences with friends but I would never, so I hope, treat someone the way I was treated.  Plus it was for something so STUPID, at least I think it was.  Oh well.  Like I have said before in my other posts before.  Friends are nice to have but when it really comes down to it my family are my bestest friends. 

Day 7: Someone who has made your life worth living for.

MY KIDS!



Day 6: Something you hope you never have to do.

This is an easy one for me and there is only one thing I hope I never have to do and that is....

To bury one of my children!

  I have had a couple of friends have to do this and it's the hardest thing.  I can't even imagine what they go through every single day.  They are amazing women!  You know who you are!

(((HUGS)))

Its a momderful life

For all you moms out there.  Here is a place where you can find fun activities and quotes for us to use in our everyday life.  Hope you enjoy!
www.itsamomderfullife.blogspot.com

Day 5: Something you hope to do in your life.

This is going to be a long list I think.  Well here goes nothing....

• Would love to go to Hawaii.  But first I need to get over the fear of flying.  Maybe when/if I do go to Hawaii I will conquer that fear.  Probably with some kind of pill.  LOL
• A cruise... Aww that would be awesome. 
• Get financially stable and not ever have to worry about money again... Ya right!  HAHA
• Travel the country and visit different places to try different foods cause I am one picky eater.
• Finish the side of my house... Get concrete.
• Get a job that I absolutely love so I could get paid doing something I enjoy.  It would be so fun to wake up everyday and be excited about going to work.
• Go to Sea World and swim with the dolphins... I LOVE dolphins they are amazing
• Take my family on a week long vacation to somewhere amazing... Maybe Sea World?  :)
• Get into shape..... Hmmmm that would require working out.  Maybe if I got a pass I would do it more often.

There are so many things I would Love to do but this list is going to have to wait and get updated freguently.  For now I got things to get done. My husband also "needs" the computer.

Day 4: Something you have to forgive someone for.

Well I know that I need to forgive someone for something but I feel like I need an apology first, which I will probably never get.  I am over it and I don't things will ever change but I am not going to dwell on it.  My family (husband, kids, sisters, brothers, parents, etc) are the MOST important thing in my life!  After the trials our family has gone through the last few months I have realized that.  I may still be sad that it happened because that is how I am but that's about it.  Forgiveness is hard to give when you have been so hurt by someone, and someone that you thought understood you.  I was wrong!  I have been hurt a LOT in my life and I am not going to be put in that situation ever again.  Families are EVERYTHING!  "Live today as if tomorrow will be the Last" 

Day 3: Something you have to forgive yourself for.

They just keep getting harder and harder....  I need to forgive myself for how I am sometimes. For instance getting my feelings hurt to easily.  I absolutely hate it!  But this is who I am I have tried not to let things effect me but I just can't do it.  I am an emotional person.  I have tried to change and I have come to the conclusion that this is me and if people don't like it then I am sorry.  If you can't love me for who I AM then there is no reason to love me because I can't change who I am for you. 

Samantha

I know I have probably said this before but Samantha is such a wonderful little girl.  She is so easy going and is hardly ever bad.  I feel so lucky to have her in my life.  I love my other kids to death but they were/are a lot harder than her.  I am glad that she is my last too.  I LOVE babies but after watching my cute little nephew a few times I forgot how hard it can be. 

Samantha makes my day pretty much every day.  She says the funniest things.  The other day I went to give her her toothbrush so she could brush her teeth, we just got new ones.  I handed her Savanah's cause I didn't remember whos was whos.  She looks at me and says "that is Nana's you silly goose"  HAHA!

She also LOVES to wear makeup.  She is deffinately going to be a girly girl.  Almost once a week she asks me to paint her toes and fingers. 

I was putting on makeup the other day and she said "why do you put on makeup" and I said "to make me look pretty"  She said "I want to look pretty"...  Doesn't she know she is BEAUTIFUL?

I am going to have to start writing down all the things she says so I don't forget.  I don't have the best memory. 

Didn't she do a Great Job?

Day 2: Something you love about yourself

• I care for others more than myself
• I love my new hair!
• I love my toes... I know weird but I think they are cute, They are webbed.  They look normal to and other peoples feet are ugly.
• I am a helpful person.

I am really tired right now so I can not think... Maybe I will update it later.  For now I am going to go rest just if only for a minute.

Day 1: Something you hate about yourself.

• That I am too giving... I always get hurt in the end it seems like
• How tall I am.... It is very hard finding pants that are long enough for my legs, so I hate how LONG my legs are.
• I am shy, most of the time
• I can't keep my mouth shut sometimes
• That I am not OCD for cleaning.. I am pretty clean but I want to be immaculant! :)  I would LOVE this quality.
• I hate the curl at the bottom of my hair when it is longer
• I hate the spot on the back of my head where I can't do anything with my hair.  My daughter Savanah has it to in the same spot... SO annoying!
• I keep my feelings inside... Then one day I explode, hence my keeping my mouth shut. 
• I hate hurting peoples feelings... though I don't mean too.
• I get my feelings hurt easily... I don't mean to but it's hard changing something you are.  I have been like this for 32 yrs.  People just say don't worry about it but I am a worrier.
• I am sure there is more I could come up with but it will have to wait.  I need to get busy!  Speaking of motivation, I need to find mine.
• I have the worst memory ever!  I wish I didn't, I would love to remember things that I don't until someone starts to talk about it.
• I don't have lots of motivation most days.

I am sure there is more I could come up with but for now I need to focus on that motivation I was talking about, now it is time to actually do it!

Experiment

I found this on another blog and thought that I would try it.  30 days of answering these questions about yourself/life.   We will see if I can do it but I thought it was a GREAT idea.  So here we go... This is the list:

Day 1: Something you hate about yourself. 
Day 2: Something you love about yourself. 
Day 3: Something you have to forgive yourself for. 
Day 4: Something you have to forgive someone for. 
Day 5: Something you hope to do in your life. 
Day 6: Something you hope you never have to do. 
Day 7: Someone who has made your life worth living for. 
Day 8: Someone who made your life hell, or treated you like shit. 
Day 9: Someone you didn’t want to let go, but just drifted. 
Day 10: Someone you need to let go, or wish you didn’t know. 
Day 11: Something people seem to compliment you the most on. 
Day 12: Something you never get compliments on. 
Day 13: A band or artist that has gotten you through some tough ass days. (write a letter.) 
Day 14: A hero that has let you down. (letter) 
Day 15: Something or someone you couldn’t live without, because you’ve tried living without it. 
Day 16: Someone or something you definitely could live without. 
Day 17: A book you’ve read that changed your views on something. 
Day 18: Your views on gay marriage. 
Day 19: What do you think of religion? Or what do you think of politics? 
Day 20: Your views on drugs and alcohol. 
Day 21: (scenario) Your best friend is in a car accident and you two got into a fight an hour before. What do you do? 
Day 22: Something you wish you hadn’t done in your life. 
Day 23: Something you wish you had done in your life. 
Day 24: Make a playlist to someone, and explain why you chose all the songs. (Just post the titles and artists and letter) 
Day 25: The reason you believe you’re still alive today. 
Day 26: Have you ever thought about giving up on life? If so, when and why? 
Day 27: What’s the best thing going for you right now? 
Day 28: What if you were pregnant or got someone pregnant, what would you do? 
Day 29: Something you hope to change about yourself. And why. 
Day 30: A letter to yourself: tell yourself EVERYTHING you love about yourself.